2020・05月

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‘Being Home’ may seem like a predictable scene like flipping through an IKEA catalogue.
Yet when we are told to do so, those hours usually spent getting ready, travelling, and hanging out are now.. just there~
Also, how do we manage 24 hours in the same space if the home situation is not exactly healthy for the soul?
Since the same 2-words are experienced differently by each living body and with so much time to search inwards, some of us might end up wondering if we are alone in this.
You might find some answers as you take a walk below!
A big thanks to you writers who made time to share these thoughts close to your heart.
We really appreciate your spontaneity!
Wishing all who arrive here a smooth journey through the rest of this pandemic.
 
If you know or hear someone experiencing abuse at home, here are some numbers to get help:
  • The National CARE hotline: 1800 202 6868
  • PAVE Integrated Services for Individual and Family Protection: 6555 0390
  • Trans Safe Centre: 6449 9088
  • Project StART: 6476 1482
  • Big Love Child Protection Specialist Centre: 6445 0400
  • HEART @ Fei Yue Child Protection Specialist Centre: 6819 9170
  • ComCare hotline: 1800 222 0000
  • AWARE’s Women’s Helpline: 1800 777 5555 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 6pm)
     
     
     
    by X – , Singapore
    You know how when it’s raining hard —
    the sound of rain drops pit-pattering on your umbrella is so deafening,
    the wind is howling,
    you’re trying to avoid stepping into the puddles but your shoes get wet anyway,
    your clothes are all getting drenched and
    the only thing you’re thinking of and trying to get to as soon as possible is the nearest shelter...

    That moment when you reach the shelter, that feeling.

    Ah, finally.
    A breather.
    A pause.

    That relief — that’s how being at home feels like to me.

    My safe haven, my sanctuary. My shelter from all the chaos outside. A place I’m comfortable in and can be myself.

    It’s actually not a place. It’s the people I keep closest to my heart.
     
     
    by Egan Hwan, Singapore
    Home is not a place but a state of mind.
     
     
    by E S, Singapore x Japan
    I love being at home, between my husband and I, we definitely know who might survive longer if there was an impending apocalypse. Especially since we are all in a semi-apocalyptic situation now.

    I recently had this conversation with my husband about why some people can’t take being at home for so long. To me, it was a form of mental weakness and lack of resilience but he reminded me that I felt less alone because we lived together. It was about companionship, I wasn’t totally alone. We have each other and he’s right, I probably wouldn’t survive long on my own totally alone.

    I learnt something new about myself, I love being home more than I thought. I enjoy experiencing the days go by from the window, watching the rain on rainy days and having coffee on my small balcony on sunny days. I haven’t felt any urges to go out, which is strange maybe? My husband keeps telling me to take a walk because I’ve been home too long. Wondering if anyone else feels the same way as I do
     
     
    by Janice Lum, Singapore
    Allow me to connect with myself more deeply
    Allow me to receive love and care more intensely
    Allow me to examine what are ‘essentials’ in life

    Allow me to reconnect with my friends again
    Allow me to encounter new friends in a different way
    Allow me to communicate virtually with co-workers

    Allow me to experiment with new recipes
    Allow me to reinterpret forgotten recipes
    Allow me to cook day and night

    Allow me to experience an art residency @myhome
    Allow me to make art about my feelings @myhome
    Allow me to discover the why in my art

    Allow me to experience the state of ‘being’
    Allow me to practice the state of ‘doing’
    Allow me to simply BE
     
     
    by Anonymous, Singapore
    I think I'm an introvert at heart. While I like going outdoors, enjoying various types of activities, I don't think I'm bored of staying at home..... at least, yet.... i think the key reason is, I get to have enough space to do different things in different parts of home (working, potato- couching, sleeping, exercising), and I get to look out of the window, gazing at the greenery for relaxation. This helps to make me feel that I'm not constrained in a place, and not feel claustrophobic with a desire to get out. Life doesn't feel that much different. However, though I'm home now, time spent talking to parents may not have increased, as I'm just as impatient and always think that they're "disturbing" me when they want to talk but I'm doing something else... this makes me feel bad, as it makes it my home, not our home.... Thus, to use this period to make it more our home, I'll make time for interaction with parents, so that we can all enjoy..... being home.....
     
     
    by Thanh Nguyen, Vietnam
    Our usual routines have been turned upside down and the way we are living can be challenging during the Covid-19. I was struck by a feeling of intense gratitude at simply being able to meet friends for a funny chat. But what if we viewed this time as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reset and refresh direction of our lives? It is actually a blessing in disguise where I can increases my feelings of connection and wellbeing with myself. I find peace by spending more time to quiet my mind and do yoga, cooking and looking back all the blessings I had in life since childhood time. My orchids at home turn greener and bloom with bigger flowers. The birds visit and sing at my balcony. All are lovely moments and I realise I have so much in life - less is more.
     
     
    by Anonymous, Singapore
    Ironically, in isolation I found incredible freedom.

    I was freed from obligations to have dinners with extended family, from having to look a certain way and even from having to speak a certain way. Finally, I was in complete control of my day.

    While family and friends are important, I've realised the importance of having time completely to myself and my immediate family, and this is something I would like to do every once in a while from now on.
     
     
    by Clarence Wee, Singapore
    Home is where I can find love. Love for myself.

    Being Home is a place defined not in a physical space but a space within me. Where I ask, 'What is my purpose?' And through the journey of this question.. I find uncertainty, fear, doubt, envy, hate, trauma and love. It is a process that can seemingly take a second, a day or weeks but usually years to unravel.

    Every step forward is always 2 steps back. But the deeper I go down the rabbit hole fighting the process.. the more hope I carry of finding my purpose.. but latching onto hope is an ever growing uncertainty. Like watching a scale constantly rebalancing itself whether I want it or not.

    Do I like the feeling? No.. I want to tip the scale. I want the rush of euphoria, I want enlightenment, I want an answer now. But do I see the need for balance? Yes. Why? Because that to me is Love. Love is not about taking a syringe full of love and pumping it into my body. It’s about understanding why I need a syringe full of love to begin with. Because maybe my purpose is to Love. Providing counter weights for uncertainty, fear, doubt, envy and hate. Realising my traumas are not me and simply sitting with who I am. Being Home.
     
     
    by Junko Fukuno, Kyoto Japan
    In this quarantine, cuts of daily routine, but I got time.
    Time to look at myself, there are lots mind’s talking include negative feelings in my head.
    But, wait, where is it came from? Is it mine?
    No, I picked up many things from web, SNS, newspapers, other people. There is just a few things originally from me. I have realized I misunderstood all of thinkings in my mind are mine one. However, actually, I just mixed thinking of mine and others.
    That small discovery made me lighter.
     
     
    by Wira Tan, Singapore
    Hey There,

    Staying at home is one of my fortes!
    As an introvert self, it’s a piece of cake for me to stay at home. But my work line fall on extrovert area, being a business developer whose market in rest of the world. Travelling is our norm, without engaging face to face with client. It felt like missing something in a complete puzzle, just like how a dog chew of one piece of puzzle. But thanks to technology we are connecting via wide range of e-meeting tools. It’s funny that being introvert myself I do love face-to-face meeting to see client honest reaction on business part of it. REMINDER: after the business meeting please leave me alone……. The perk of travelling meeting, it gives opportunity to travel to area that I have never been and the best part of all (FREE OF CHARGE) yay! Side note: with tons of tools for e-meeting, internet connection play a big part. It’s a norm for me now to….. sorry I lost you, could you repeat, can you speak slowerrrrr as tat of lagging..(P.S I sound like a broken recorder zzz..).

    Well every “Reality is like a face reflected in the blade of a knife; its properties depend on the angle from which we view it.”#theangleoflife Quote by Master Hsing Yun

    It doesn’t mean that on the dark side of the reflected area look bad or not as nice.. it just has a different meaning and result or it might serve as a reminder. Eventually the darkside might bring force to you in a good way *wink..
    Staying too long in the house (literally 24hours a day x many many days), indeed the house does have bad aura flowing around that make everyone agitated. For me, I choose to ignore and make lesser comment. I am keeping a reminder to myself that if the words splurting sound bad, then I might as well zip my mouth up. But being a buttinsky to the persons I care, it’s soo harddddddd really hard. But I just need to learn to control my own BODY AND MIND that belong to me. I am the owner, they should have listen to me right right right! Ommmmm breath in and out~~. Still and all, I will keep trying until it’s perfect. (although it’s almost like 50% failing everyday but I am not giving up)..
    So one advice to everyone is to have a goal or goals to reach, so that it will keep you mind focus on the goal and not wondering off and be depressed *Ahem! (which always happen to me). So my goal is to lost another 20kg by end of this year and I am greatful enough to have gangs that willing to come to either 7.30AM and 6.15PM workout without failed via Skype or Google Meets. I know I know the goal is very ambitious, but I have set it and I am going to reached it. If me failing on myself, not to worry I might have another 2021 to reach if I am lucky enough!

    So what is your goal?
     
     
    by R Y, Singapore
    Being home means many things to me. Especially since now we're all home dealing with a pandemic and handling all aspects of our life from one point and mainly one desk. It means literally watching my Netflix, eating cakes off my desk, doing my work and getting inspiration from the same screen. It gets weary and some times I feel a little confused. Thankfully, I've managed to connect with so many of my friends who have been providing support to each other, keeping ourselves sane with primary school humour.

    It's been a crazy time, but I hope we all start to give ourselves a little room to breathe and stop criticising our lack of "productivity" because hey, we're only human and we all err some times don't we? Sending love to everyone around x
     
     
    by Hayden Loo, Malaysia x Singapore
    being home is nothing but a real comfort.
    being home is where you realize true love begins here.
    being home is an ultimate luxury.
    being home is how you feel secured and loved.
    being home is nothing but where memories lie since day one.

    there is no place like being able to stay at home during this strange time of the world.
    value and appreciate the time spending at home right now, because,

    home isn't a place, it's a feeling
     
      
    by  Anonymous, Singapore
    The irony of being home brings about both isolation and connectedness.
    Some of us feel increasingly isolated as we can’t meet our friends
    But yet some of us saw this as an opportunity to spend more time with our family
     
     
    by  YM Woo, Singapore
    I write this as I lounge on my sofa, in the comfort of my house, while a heavy rain battered on outside. I don't have a story to tell, but many thoughts to share. The lightning lights the sky, showing a grab food delivery man riding away on his bicycle. I'll guess there's many others like him. There would likely also be taxi drivers plying the streets, hoping for that rare passenger. I count my blessings for being home.

    I recalled about the crowd funding request, seeking to bring a Singaporean home. She was about to start a new life in U.S. with a new job after ending a relationship. The job offer was rescinded as Covid infects U.S. and she discovered she has stage 4 cancer. Sufficient funds were raised and she'll likely be able to come home. I hope she finds solace in being home.

    I also read in the news of how child abuse cases has gone up during circuit breaker period. Trapped in a tiny enclosed space with not much breathable space, restless children can get on the nerves of parents who are worried about living expenses after losing the job. When worry escalates and frustration mounts, abuse can happen even at home. I wonder if the children finds peace being home.

    I miss the overseas holidays. I miss the gatherings with my friends and relatives. I miss the walks in the parks.

    Nevertheless, I count my blessings for being home. For being home in a house, which is not huge and luxurious, but comfortable. For being home with my family who are in good health. For being home with bickering family members whom I often have disagreements with but though peace is not always there, it can always be found.

    I will continue to count my blessings.



    thought history